Dr. Denis Waitley - Overcoming the Fear of Rejection

Overcoming the Fear of Rejection by Dr. Denis Waitley

To conquer your fear of rejection, you need to handle the word “no” in a constructive way. When people turn you down after a presentation, you have to interpret the “no” as “no, this is not right for me now.” We also can interpret “no” as meaning, “I need to know more about this opportunity or the products before I can say yes.”

I look at the service I offer to others as a gift that almost everyone desires. It’s like a nutritious dessert. What if waiters or waitresses in a restaurant said to customers at their tables: “Would you like our special strawberry parfait for dessert? It’s the best in the world!” And they were told “no” by their patrons, three out of five times.

Would they go to their manager, throw up their hands and quit, lamenting, “They don’t like me or my strawberry parfait”? Of course they wouldn’t. They’d go on about their business, thinking the patrons had missed out on something delicious.

That’s why I treat products as a gift, much more nutritious and beneficial than a fruit dessert. But what is being rejected is the presentation, not the presenter. When I can separate my self-esteem from offering the products or business opportunity, I can live with rejection and look for ways to get a positive response more often.

When you experience rejection, that’s the time to network with mentors and role models. It’s also the time to listen to upbeat music and read articles like this, to attend meetings and conference calls, and to hang around with optimists and winners.

There are basically four things we do in selling our products and services, and only four. We use the products and services ourselves, we talk to people about the products and services, we talk to people about the financial benefits we offer, and we coach them to refer us to others who do the same thing. First, we are coachable and willing to learn something new every day. Then, we become coaches. All you really need to move up to the next level is have faith in yourself.

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool. To weep is to risk appearing sentimental. To reach out for another is to risk involvement. To expose your feelings is to risk revealing your true self. To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk rejection. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To live is to risk dying. To hope is to risk despair. To try is to risk failure. But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing at all. People who will risk nothing do nothing, have nothing, and become nothing. They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love or live. Chained by their certitudes, they are trapped.

They have forfeited their freedom. Only a person who risks is truly free. And one last idea you can live and believe: the more you give, the more you’ll receive.

Reproduced with permission from the Denis Waitley Newsletter. To Subscribe to Denis Waitley's Newsletter Use this link

© 2010 Denis Waitley International. All rights reserved worldwide.

Jack Canfield - Expand Your Prosperity Consciousness

Expand Your Prosperity Consciousness

Understanding the relationship among consciousness, action, and prosperity is crucial to your success.

In my seminars I sometimes stand in front of the room and hold up a $100 bill, state that I’m wiling to give it away, and ask if anyone would like to have it.

Usually lots of people raise their hand – and do nothing else. I keep waiving the dollar bill until someone finally jumps out of his or her chair, walks or runs all the way up to the stage and reaches up to take the bill.

There are two lessons here. One is that money goes to the person who takes the necessary action. The other is that a certain state of consciousness makes it possible to take action – or to avoid it.

When I ask people what kept them from walking up to the front of the room to claim the money, I always get the same answers: they felt shy. They worried about what other people would think. They thought it was a trick. Those answers come from a consciousness dominated by fear, scarcity, and cynicism.

The same forces can operate in our daily lives. In each moment we either feed those forces – or replace them with something better. Following are some essential ways to expand your prosperity consciousness and claim the wealth you deserve.

Monitor Your Conversations

We swim in a sea of conversation. Every time you attend a meeting, make a phone call, or send an email, you start up a conversation. Whenever you listen to an audio recording or pick up a book, you start a conversation with an author. And whenever you write in your journal or just a take a few minutes to sit and think, you start a conversation with yourself.

Consider the combined effect of those conversations. My friend Jim Rohn liked to say that we are the average of the five people with whom we spend the most time. The quality of our conversations creates the quality of our lives.

Who are the five people that dominate the “conversation space” in your life? What did you talk about the last time you saw each person? And did that conversation build up your prosperity consciousness or tear it down?

Stay in Prosperity Conversations

Make it a point to drop out of the “aint it awful” club – toxic conversations with people who dwell on resentments or complaints. Instead, get engaged in conversations that support your path to prosperity.

For example, spend more time with the people who are already doing the kind of work you want to do. Ask them how they entered the field and what it takes to succeed.

In addition, read at least one book per week. Focus on uplifting stories and biographies of successful people. Read more and learn ways to build your skills at managing money, raising happy children, creating loving relationships, and maintaining your health. Feed your prosperity consciousness with a constant stream of useful, positive ideas.

Keep Catching Your Dream

Have you ever shared your dream with someone who then doubted your ability to achieve it? This happened to Mark Victor Hansen and me during a conversation with the publisher of Chicken Soup for the Soul. We asked him how many copies of the book we should expect to sell. The publisher said that we’d be lucky to sell 20,000 copies.

Believe me, that was NOT our dream! Our goal was to sell 150,000 copies in six months and 1.5 million in 18 months. Our publisher just laughed out loud and said it was impossible.

We ended up selling 135,000 copies in six months and 1.3 million in 18 months. We didn’t quite meet our initial goals, yet we sold much more than our publisher estimated. That first book went on to sell over eight million copies in America and 10 million copies around the world.

Whenever you have a dream-killing conversation, you have two options. Give up your dream or return to your original intention with even more energy and commitment. Focusing on your original intention sends an urgent message to your mind: I am going to persist until my dream manifests. Starting right now!

Support this deeper level of intention with affirmations, such as:

• I always attract the perfect people to work with me.
• No matter what is going on in the economy, I attract people I can help – and who can help me.
• Our customer base is expanding.
• Repeat business and referrals keep coming my way.

Then add supporting visualizations. See yourself holding bigger paychecks, rent checks, or royalty checks in your hands. Visualize people handing you cash.

Give Back

Round out these images with visions of sharing the wealth. Many of the world’s wealthiest people are dedicated tithers, meaning they give 10 percent of their income to charitable organizations.

Visualize yourself doing the same thing. Those who give also receive, and service always comes back multiplied.

© 2010 Jack Canfield

Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com