Dr. Denis Waitley - Overcoming the Fear of Rejection

Overcoming the Fear of Rejection by Dr. Denis Waitley

To conquer your fear of rejection, you need to handle the word “no” in a constructive way. When people turn you down after a presentation, you have to interpret the “no” as “no, this is not right for me now.” We also can interpret “no” as meaning, “I need to know more about this opportunity or the products before I can say yes.”

I look at the service I offer to others as a gift that almost everyone desires. It’s like a nutritious dessert. What if waiters or waitresses in a restaurant said to customers at their tables: “Would you like our special strawberry parfait for dessert? It’s the best in the world!” And they were told “no” by their patrons, three out of five times.

Would they go to their manager, throw up their hands and quit, lamenting, “They don’t like me or my strawberry parfait”? Of course they wouldn’t. They’d go on about their business, thinking the patrons had missed out on something delicious.

That’s why I treat products as a gift, much more nutritious and beneficial than a fruit dessert. But what is being rejected is the presentation, not the presenter. When I can separate my self-esteem from offering the products or business opportunity, I can live with rejection and look for ways to get a positive response more often.

When you experience rejection, that’s the time to network with mentors and role models. It’s also the time to listen to upbeat music and read articles like this, to attend meetings and conference calls, and to hang around with optimists and winners.

There are basically four things we do in selling our products and services, and only four. We use the products and services ourselves, we talk to people about the products and services, we talk to people about the financial benefits we offer, and we coach them to refer us to others who do the same thing. First, we are coachable and willing to learn something new every day. Then, we become coaches. All you really need to move up to the next level is have faith in yourself.

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool. To weep is to risk appearing sentimental. To reach out for another is to risk involvement. To expose your feelings is to risk revealing your true self. To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk rejection. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To live is to risk dying. To hope is to risk despair. To try is to risk failure. But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing at all. People who will risk nothing do nothing, have nothing, and become nothing. They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love or live. Chained by their certitudes, they are trapped.

They have forfeited their freedom. Only a person who risks is truly free. And one last idea you can live and believe: the more you give, the more you’ll receive.

Reproduced with permission from the Denis Waitley Newsletter. To Subscribe to Denis Waitley's Newsletter Use this link

© 2010 Denis Waitley International. All rights reserved worldwide.

Jim Rohn - The Subtlety of Language

I have found that sometimes the subtle difference in our attitude, which of course can make a major difference in our future, can be as simple as the language we use. The difference in even how you talk to yourself or others. Consciously making a decision to quit saying what you don't want and to start saying what you do want. I call that faith. Believing the best, hoping for the best and moving toward the best.

A few examples could be, instead of saying "What if somebody doesn't respond" you start saying, "What if they do respond?" Instead of saying "What if someone says no?" You say, "What if they say yes?" Instead of "What if they start and quit?" say, "What if they start and stay?" or "What if it doesn't work out?" You say, "What if it does work out?" and the list goes on and on.

I found that when you start thinking and saying what you really want then your mind automatically shifts and pulls you in that direction. And sometimes it can be that simple, just a little twist in vocabulary that illustrates your attitude and philosophy.

Our language can also affect how others perform and behave around us. A teenager says to a parent, "I need $10." And if the parents learn to say, "No comprende. That kind of language doesn't work here. We've got plenty of money, but that's not how you get $10." Then you teach your teenager how to ask, "How can I earn $10?"

That is the magic of words. There is plenty of money here. There is money for everybody, but you just have to learn the magic words to get them. For everything you could possibly want. If you just learn the philosophy. How could I earn $10? Because you can't go to the soil and say, "Give me a harvest." You know the soil smiles and says, "Who is this clown that brings me his need and brings me no seed." And if you said to the soil, "I've got this seed and if I planted it, would you work while I sleep?" And the soil says, "No problem. Give me the seed. Go to sleep and I'll be working while you're sleeping."

If you just understand these simple principles, teaching them to a teenager (or adult) is sometimes just a matter of language. It's like an investment account instead of a savings account. Simple language, but so important. It is easy to stumble through almost a lifetime and not learn some of these simplicities. Then you have to put up with all the lack and all the challenges that don't work out simply from not reading the book, not listening to the tape, not sitting in the class, not studying your language and not being willing to search so you can then find.

But here is the great news. You can start this process anytime. For me it was at age 25. At 25 I'm broke. Six years later I'm a millionaire. Somebody says, "What kind of revolution, what kind of change, what kind of thinking, what kind of magic had to happen? Was it you?" And I say, "No. Any person, any six years, 36 to 42, 50 to 56. Whatever six years; whatever few years you go on an intensive, accelerated personal development curve, learning curve, application curve, and learning the disciplines. Now, it might not take the same amount of time, but I'm telling you the same changes and the same rewards in some different fashion are available for those who pay that six year price. And you might find that whether it's in the beginning to help get you started, or in the middle to keep you on track, that your language can have a great impact on your attitude, actions and results.

To Your Success,
Jim Rohn

You may visit http://www.JimRohn.com for more information.

Video - Matthew Childs - 9 Life Lessons

The Law Of The Seed

The Law Of The Seed

Take a look at an apple tree.

There might be five hundred apples on the tree, but each apple has just ten seeds.

That's a lot of seeds!

We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more apple trees?"

Nature has something to teach us here. It's telling us: "Not all seeds grow. In life, most seeds never grow. So if you really want to make something happen, you had better try more than once."

This might mean:

• You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job.
• You'll interview forty people to find one good employee.
• You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, one car, one vacuum cleaner, one insurance policy, or a business idea.
• And you might meet a hundred acquaintances just to find one special friend.

When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed. We stop feeling like victims. We learn how to deal with things that happen to us.

Laws of nature are not things to take personally. We just need to understand them - and work with them.

IN A NUTSHELL Successful people fail more often but they plant more seeds.

When Things Are Beyond your control, here's something that you must NOT DO so as to avoid misery in your life:

• You must not decide how you think the world SHOULD be.
• You must not make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave.
• Then, when the world doesn't obey your rules, you get angry.
• That's what miserable people do!

On the other hand, let's say you expect that:
Friends SHOULD return favors.
People SHOULD appreciate you.
Planes SHOULD arrive on time.
Everyone SHOULD be honest.
Your husband or best friend SHOULD remember your birthday.

These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't happen!

So you end up frustrated and disappointed.

There's a better strategy. Demand less, and instead, have preferences!

For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself:
"I would prefer "A", but if "B" happens, it's OK too!"

This is really a change in mindset. It is a shift in attitude, and it gives you more peace of mind ... You prefer that people are polite . but when they are rude, it doesn't ruin your day. You prefer sunshine...but if it rains, it is OK too!

To become happier, we either need to change the world or change our thinking.

It is easier to change our Thinking!

Jim Rohn - Attitude Is Everything

Attitude is Everything

The process of human change begins within us. We all have tremendous potential. We all desire good results from our efforts. Most of us are willing to work hard and to pay the price that success and happiness demand.

Each of us has the ability to put our unique human potential into action and to acquire a desired result. But the one thing that determines the level of our potential, that produces the intensity of our activity, and that predicts the quality of the result we receive is our attitude.

Attitude determines how much of the future we are allowed to see. It decides the size of our dreams and influences our determination when we are faced with new challenges. No other person on earth has dominion over our attitude. People can affect our attitude by teaching us poor thinking habits or unintentionally misinforming us or providing us with negative sources of influence, but no one can control our attitude unless we voluntarily surrender that control.

No one else "makes us angry." We make ourselves angry when we surrender control of our attitude. What someone else may have done is irrelevant. We choose, not they. They merely put our attitude to a test. If we select a volatile attitude by becoming hostile, angry, jealous or suspicious, then we have failed the test. If we condemn ourselves by believing that we are unworthy, then again, we have failed the test.

If we care at all about ourselves, then we must accept full responsibility for our own feelings. We must learn to guard against those feelings that have the capacity to lead our attitude down the wrong path and to strengthen those feelings that can lead us confidently into a better future.

If we want to receive the rewards the future holds in trust for us, then we must exercise the most important choice given to us as members of the human race by maintaining total dominion over our attitude. Our attitude is an asset, a treasure of great value, which must be protected accordingly. Beware of the vandals and thieves among us who would injure our positive attitude or seek to steal it away.

Having the right attitude is one of the basics that success requires. The combination of a sound personal philosophy and a positive attitude about ourselves and the world around us gives us an inner strength and a firm resolve that influences all the other areas of our existence.

To Your Success,
Jim Rohn

Source: Jim Rohn's Weekly E-Zine.

You may visit http://www.jimrohn.com for more information.

Attitude - You Have Two Choices

I would like to express my gratitude towards the creator of these slides. Unfortunately, I am not aware about the creator. However, the message discussed using these slides is important for each one of us.